How Debra Stangl and Richard Kepple approach relationship patterns

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Their book, High-Vibe Relationship, outlines the concepts and terminology behind their work with couples.

Debra Stangl and Richard Kepple’s new book, High-Vibe Relationship, examines how couples interpret recurring disagreements and differences in communication. Drawing on their professional experiences, the authors introduce a framework for discussing patterns that may otherwise go unnoticed.

The book also presents the High-Vibe System™, the name Stangl and Kepple use for their approach. Within this framework, they use the informal term “gunk” to refer to recurring concerns and behaviors discussed in the book.

Professional paths

For 20 years, Stangl worked as a divorce attorney, where she says she observed couples repeating similar cycles of conflict. Her experiences in that field later influenced the subjects she chose to address in her work with couples.

After an experience in Sedona in 1999, Stangl founded Sedona Soul Adventures in 2002 as a retreat business serving individuals and couples. Years later, Kepple arrived at the work from an entirely different world. His background included Silicon Valley startups, engineering, and consulting. He later joined Stangl at Sedona Soul Adventures, bringing his business and technical experience to their joint projects.

Different ways of communicating

One subject addressed in the book is the possibility that partners may communicate appreciation, affection, and support differently. Stangl and Kepple use this subject to explain their views on how couples interpret one another’s words and actions.

“Love isn’t just about loving someone your way,” the Sedona Soul Adventures team explains. “It’s about understanding how your partner uniquely experiences love, appreciation, affection, safety, and care, and nurturing them in the way they want to be nurtured, which demonstrates to them that you love them.”

The book applies this perspective to subjects including communication, affection, and recurring disagreements. Rather than presenting one model of partnership, Stangl and Kepple organize their discussion around the different expectations that individuals may bring to a relationship.

Another theme in the book is the role that individual histories can play in shaping expectations within a relationship. Stangl and Kepple discuss how people may bring established communication habits and assumptions into a partnership, sometimes without consciously recognizing them. The authors use examples from their professional work to illustrate how the same event may be interpreted differently by each person. 

They also distinguish between the immediate subject of a disagreement and the broader expectations surrounding it. These observations are presented as elements of the authors’ framework rather than clinical conclusions or promises about what couples may achieve by applying the ideas.

From book to retreat

The concepts discussed in High-Vibe Relationship also inform the programming offered by Sedona Soul Adventures. According to the company, its retreats combine scheduled activities with sessions focused on topics selected for each participating couple.

Through the book and their retreat business, Stangl and Kepple present their terminology and perspectives on relationship patterns. Their work reflects ideas developed through Stangl’s legal career, Kepple’s business and engineering background, and their subsequent collaboration at Sedona Soul Adventures.